For me the ideal age to have a baby is around 25-35. Not too young and not too old. But it does not mean that if you reached the ideal age you are ready to become a parent. You need to consider several factors before you can say that you are ready to take the role of being a parent.
Prepare yourself to become a parent
Anyone can be a parent, but only few are prepared to become a parent. You will understand more about the worries of the parents when you have your own baby. In preparation, you should be mentally, physically, emotionally and financially prepared if you want to be a responsible parent. Below are the top six struggles of a parent.
1. Mental Stress
When you are a parent of a baby, you worry about milk, diapers and even insect bites. When he cries hard, you'd worry how to get that bad air out for him to be relieved. As he learns to walk, you'd worry if he might fall hard and get hurt. Then off he goes to school. You would worry if he get bullied by those big bad insecure guys in school and that's on top of worrying how to pay the tuition fees, books and school projects. The worrying even gets tougher as he enter the adventurous teenage life. You'd worry if he comes home late and worry even more if he'd sneak out at night just to get drank with a not-so-good group of friends. Or if you have a daughter, you'd worry if she might end up dating a big fat liar or with a womanizer. Then after spending many years in school, he now steps out of his comfort zone. He'd get a job and perhaps a place on his own. You would then worry if he'll be able to make or break it because as you know life is never that easy. And when he lands a fine and decent job in the city, you'd then worry if he won't see a right partner. When he finds "the one" and ties the knot, you weep in secret and worry if he'll be a good provider and a parent to his own home because you know that being a parent isn't that easy. Would you also worry all of these?
2. Physical Exhaustion
First few months after giving birth you will experience almost every day of sleepless nights. Your child will sleep all day and will cry all night. There will come a time that you really want to sleep and your baby is still crying. Of course you can’t leave your baby cry all night, and I am sure that you can’t sleep with the noise of your baby. When they get older and go to school, you will need to pick them up from their school. Prepare their daily needs like their everyday meals, wash their dishes and wash their clothes. It would be much difficult for solo parent. Good if your parents still supporting you, but what if your parents are not here?
3. Financial Concerns
Milk, food, diapers, doctor’s consultation, clothing and other accessories of your baby. These are some expenses during their infant stage, and when they grow up it will also upgrade. Aside from what I mentioned earlier, additional expenses would be proper education, allowances, trip to Disneyland (if you have extra budget) and more. These are not a problem if you are financially secured or independently wealthy, but most of the parents tough challenge is on the expenses of raising their children. Will you be able to provide what they want? Or just what they need?
4. Forgotten Ambitions and Dreams
When you become a parent, you will be more focused on raising your children (especially mothers) and will most likely forget your own aspirations. You will forget about your dreams to become a lawyer, an engineer, a doctor or whatsoever. Though it does not apply to all because some parents can’t live without a career. But I do appreciate a parent (especially mothers) that will sacrifice their career for them to properly take care of their children. What kind of parent are you?
5. Battles
Several times you will need to fight with them of what is right and wrong (what they should do and they should not do). Babies have their own world and sometimes will not listen to you. So, you need to educate them so that they will learn on what is good for them. Babies are hard-headed, and will get harder when they grow up. But it really depends on your guidance or the way you raise them. While they are still on the stage that they will listen to you, connect with them properly and teach them good manners. Cause by the time they will grow up, it would be hard for parents to tell them because they already have their own decision. Parents have always right to tell their sons and daughters what they want, but their sons and daughter have always the choice whether to do it or not.
6. Letting Go
When they graduate in college, have their own job and sooner will get married, accept the fact that they are no longer your baby. It will be time for you to let go, but of course don’t stop your support for them whenever they need it. They may not be in your arms anymore that your love and their love for you will never change. That’s if you have took care of them with love. Be proud that you did a great job of being a parent and you raise your children with proper care and love.
Got problems? Do you have some questions that have yet to be answered? Or have some stories to tell? Share it with us.
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