How to Handle a "Friends-Over-Me" Dilemma

Life would be so boring without our friends. They're described as our long lost siblings. Friends, and I'm not just talking acquaintance friends, are the first ones (of course, aside from your family) who will tell you if you mess up. They are given that special courage by God to tell straight to your face if something's wrong with you. There could be times that they sounded way beyond the line but that's how true friends act. And they also has that habit of talking about how they find your dating partner. Most of the times, if you'd agree with me, the off side are the ones often served. That is why conflicts would arise between the couple when one of them has the trouble of breaking in with the other's friends zone especially when one of them has more time with the buddies than their partners. So do you really need to get into your partner's friend zone? How would you get his friends' approval? Do you need to?

A friend once told me that it's hard to compete with your partners' friends. Luckily, it was effortless for me since me and my husband have the same circle of friends. Her partner on the other hand spends more time with his buddies than with her which ended up with both of them calling it's over. As she recalls, her partner would resort to lying if he'll go out with his pals since she obviously despise the existence of his friends. That is normal for girls to feel that way when there is rejection from his friends especially if you and them are completely strangers and doesn't share even the slightest of interests. But how should you handle this dilemma?

First, drop the "competing" idea. You should not compete with his friends. His friends are already part of his life before you came in the picture. He chose you to be his other half, a possible lifetime partner, and not just a pal. Therefore, there shouldn't be any competition at all. You are more special than his friends.

If you don't feel that way, tell him. There's no better way to solve a problem other than talking it over. But of course, there's a big difference between a talk and a nag. You should extremely avoid the  latter. Tell him that you'd appreciate a more "you and me" time. Show him that you miss him, you miss the moments that you both shared.

Think out of the box. Engage into some activities that could catch your partner's interest. In a relationship, it's not just a me and me, it's always a give and take. If he's into video games, then go ahead and practice and challenge him for an online battle. A little reward (romantic maybe) for winning could possible ignite that excitement. The point is, you should also act like the best pal ever to your partner.

Reach out. You are not forced to like his friends. But at least show some effort that you want to get to know them better. He'd appreciate that more than anything. You're actually catching two birds in one stone. Your effort will be appreciated by your partner and the getting to know part will of course give you a heads up on who's the good ones in the group and how you are supposed to treat his friends. Always remember that YOU are the leading role and the friends are the supporting casts. Be nice to them. That's the least that you can do.

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